Apr 102016
 

Pola BA Grandluxe II vs L’core Crystalline 60 Sec Face Lift Cream

The second game for the Luxury Lotion Northeast Division pits two seemingly tiny teams (small in stature, but large in presents).  This game features Pola BA Grandluxe II vs L’core Crystalline 60 Sec Face Lift Cream.

Pola BA Grandluxe II

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VS

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Pola is high roller, well established owner that dabbles in many areas of skin care, hair treatments and cosmetics since the 1920’s.  This Pola BA Grandluxe II team is a serum that has a duel function as an essence and a moisturizer.

The Currency Conundrum (at the luxury summit)

“The Currency Conundrum” by Financial Times (CC BY 2.0), via Flickr.com

L’core Crystalline 60 Sec Face Lift Cream has a much larger following in the Lotion Challenge league than its opponent.  This team is owned by L’core Paris that is the buzz around the world in the beauty model circuits.

In the Luxury Lotion Northeast Division (some might call this the Luxury Summit of teams), Pola BA Grandluxe II comes in as a new team with a long established ownership. L’core Crystalline Face Lift Cream has a much larger fan base that stems from its popularity due to how successful the team has been on famous people.

Will the established name with an expensive lineup bring a strong showing.  Or, the large fan base push the name dropping rich kid to press out any wrinkles it comes across during this game?  You don’t have a large enough wallet to play with these teams, so bring your credit card and a long line of credit, and prepared to be spoiled by a great game.

Players

Here are the players (ingredients) for each team (product).

Pola BA Grandluxe II

Pola BA Grandluxe II’s full team consists of:

  • Water
  • *Concentrated glycerin
  • α-olefin oligomers
  • BG
  • Linoleic acid (isostearyl / phytosterols)
  • *Diglycerol
  • Hydrogenated soybean phospholipids
  • 4-n-butyl resorcinol
  • 2K glycyrrhizinate
  • Ascorbic acid 2-glucoside
  • Ursolic acid benzyl
  • Polymethylpentene Leroy Le -L- lysine
  • *Hydrolyzed conchiolin solution
  • N- lauroyl -L- glutamate (phytosterols – behenic -2 – octyldodecyl)
  • *Menthol
  • Mussel glycogen
  • Saffron
  • Hydrangea extract
  • Clove extract
  • Gourd extract -1
  • Astragalus extract
  • Misaki rose extract
  • Ginger tincture
  • Marjoram extract
  • Akebia extract
  • Yarrow extract
  • Clara -1 extract
  • Berberine extract
  • Wormwood extract
  • Horsetail extract
  • Comfrey
  • Hypericum extract
  • Ethanol
  • Dimethicone
  • Stearic acid
  • Carboxyvinyl polymer
  • Behenyl alcohol
  • Ethanol
  • Potassium hydroxide
  • Polyglycerol oleate
  • Octyldodecyl phytosterols
  • Xanthan gum
  • Vitamin E
  • Hydrogenated oil
  • 5Na solution diethylenetriamine acid
  • Phenoxyethanol
  • Methyl paraben
  • Propyl paraben
  • Fragrance

Pola BA Grandluxe II has accumulated a wide variety of players that have talents from the orient.  Can Pola BA Grandluxe II chose the right combination of player to defeat L’core Paris’ Crystalline Face Lift Cream?

L’core Crystalline 60 Sec Face Lift Cream

L’core Paris Crystalline’s complicated roster includes:

  • Water
  • Diamond Extract
  • -Sodium Silicate
  • *Magnesium Aluminum Silicate
  • *Butylene Glycol
  • Acetyl Hexapeptide-8
  • *Lycium Barbarum Fruit Extract
  • Coffea Arabica (Coffee) Seed Extract
  • Euterpe Oleracea Fruit Extract
  • Morinda Citrifolia Extract
  • Punica Granatum Fruit Extract
  • Camellia Sinensis Leaf Extract
  • Garcinia Mangostana Fruit Extract
  • Kaolin
  • Mica
  • Xanthan Gum
  • *Phenoxyethanol
  • +Ethylhexyglycerin
  • Fragrance

L’core Paris forked over a lot of cash for this high flying great smelling group of players.  Was the GM on the right scent when he put this team together?  Stick around to find out.

Box Score

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Drive By Drive Game Details

Pola BA Grandluxe II Wins the Toss and Will Receive

Fort AP Hill Org Day 2014

“Fort AP Hill Org Day 2014” by Fort A.P. Hill (Public Domain Mark 1.0), via Flickr.com

The coin flip is won by Pola BA Grandluxe II and L’core Crystalline Face Lift Cream will open the game kicking off.

Pola Tries to Soften Defense with Concentrated Glycerin

Pola BA Grandluxe II’s head coach watches the kickoff being downed in the end zone as he contemplates how to open this game of luxury versus luxury.

The coach settles on Concentrated Glycerin. Unlike normal lotions that include some of the lessor Glycerin family, Pola BA Grandluxe II employs this form of Glycerin (concentrated) to step up this teams game.

Concentrated Glycerin is thought of by other teams a “too much of a good thing”. There are rumors that too much Concentrated Glycerin can cause dry skin or blistering if left on the skin for too long.

But, the Pola coach believes you just have to mix Concentrated Glycerin in with the right mix of other players and the benefits are luxurious.

Concentrated Glycerin Begins the Drive

On the first play from scrimmage, Concentrated Glycerin lines up at RB and applies a run of 5 yards to the defense.

On 2nd down, Concentrated Glycerin lines up again at RB, but takes a fake handoff and curls to the left flat. The Pola QB looks deep at another Pola WR streaking down the sidelines. This clears out the entire left side and the QB delivers a strike in stride to Concentrated Glycerin who eludes the LB with a nifty high step, and tip toes down the sidelines before being pushed out of bounds. The play goes for 30 yards.

Concentrated Glycerin runs the same play to the right side, but the LB is ready to scrap off some dead skin and takes Concentrated Glycerin down after 9 yards.

On 2nd down and short, Concentrated Glycerin takes a handoff over left end and bursts wide to try and get the corner, but runs out of room. But, not before gaining 5 yards.

On 1st down, Concentrated Glycerin tries the same left end run and is able to make 7 yards before being pushed out of bounds.

kicking off

“kicking off” by popofatticus (CC BY 2.0), via Flickr.com

On 2nd down, Concentrated Glycerin takes the handoff up the middle hoping to surprise the defense after several sideline plays. But, L’core Crystaline is stoudt in its core and stuffs the play for no gain.

Concentrated Glycerin takes a handoff on 3rd down and goes off right tackle to try and soften that side of the defense. But, no amount of moisturizer can do the trick as Concentrated Glycerin is tackled for a one yard loss.

Concentrated Glycerin stays in to attempt a 43 yard FG. The snap is good, the kick is up, and is GOOD!

L’Core Opens with Lycium Barbarum Fruit Extract

Well, that was a mouthful.

But, the L’core Crystalline 60 Sec Face Lift Cream coach isn’t intimidated by how long it takes to say his players name. He’s hoping it will delay the defense as they try to figure out what to call him.

Lycium Barbarum Fruit Extract is known in secret to his team as LBFruitEx. His talents include:

  • Astringent
  • Conditioning of the skin
  • Antioxidant
  • Prevention of Alzheimer’s (when consumed)

LBFruitEx opens the L’Core Crystalline first drive trying to condition the defense with a pounding of runs. Four straight runs of 3, 6, 3, and 7 yards give L’Core Crystalline great field position.

Seeing the safety creeping up, the L’Core Crystalline QB changes the play and puts LBFruitEx in motion. LBFruitEx runs a down and out. As the CB turns to make a play on LBFruitEx, LBFruitEx cuts the play up field.

Max Blitz!!

The defense has called a max blitz, but on the play change, the QB calls a max protection and is able air the ball out for a deep pass. LBFruitEx is streaking down the sidelines and ends up having to stop and come back to the ball to make the catch.

Dan Carpenter field goal

“Dan Carpenter field goal” by Alan Kotok (CC BY 2.0), via Flickr.com

This allows the beaten CB to catch up to LBFruitEx and wrestle him out of bounds. But, not until after a gain of 49 yards.

Pulling the offense line tight, L’Core Crystalline runs for 6 and 3 yards on the next two plays.

On 3rd down and very short, LBFruitEx stumbles out of the snap and isn’t able to get into the air. The play is stuff for a 1 yard loss.

LBFruitEx stays in the game and easily pooches a 22 yard field goal through the uprights!

Diglycerol Enters for Pola BA Grandluxe II

With the game tied, Pola BA Grandluxe II looks down the bench to Diglycerol.

Diglycerol is a humectant that typically binds to Water (the star player for the Pola BA Grandluxe II team).

World Without Water

“World Without Water” by Adrian Furby (CC BY 2.0), via Flickr.com

But, the coach wants to save Water for later in the game, so he decides to see what Diglycerol can do on its own.

Other talents that Diglycerol brings to the game include keeping creams from drying out, retention of Water (won’t help him on this drive), and solvent properties.

With the kickoff returned to the 19 yard line, Diglycerol marches out to give his team a lift. On 1st down, Diglycerol lines up in the backfield, but seems confused when he realizes that Water isn’t in the game.

The ball is snapped and handed off to Diglycerol. By the time he realized he won’t be able to work with Water, he is tackled for a one yard loss.

On 2nd down, Diglycerol still seems confused, but calms himself as he drifts to the right side of the field on a pass play. The Pola BA QB drops the ball off, and Diglycerol makes the best of the play with a 4 yard gallop.

Still Out of Water

On 3rd down and long, Diglycerol decides to call his own number and lines up in the shotgun. Dropping back to pass, Diglycerol looks left and right, but is again thrown off by not having Water in the game. Diglycerol feels the defensive rush pressure and tucks the ball and scrambles up field. Before the secondary can respond, Diglycerol has gained 9 yards and a 1st down.

Still not feeling comfortable, Diglycerol drops back for a pass on 1st down. Seeing what looks like Water in the flat, Diglycerol panics and drills the ball into the ground after realizing that Water is still not in the game.

Diglycerol goes back to RB and takes the handoff on 2nd down, but the defense is waiting for Diglycerol and limits him to 2 yards.

With another 3rd down and long, Diglycerol lines up in the shotgun again. Diglycerol again can’t find any open receivers and looks to scramble. But, the defense stays home on their rush and Diglycerol is surrounded before he can make a dash through the rush of the defense. Diglycerol is sacked for a 3 yard loss.

Diglycerol stays in on 4th down and punts the ball. The ball sails far as the L’core punt returner retreats backwards. After the 50 yard punt comes down, the L’core return man is able to make the first coverage man miss and quickly darts up field for 9 yards.

A penalty for a block in the back gives the ball back to L’core at the 19 yard line.

L’Core Moves Towards the Magi

After a nice defensive stand, the L’core Crystalline 60 Sec Face Lift Cream coach looks to make a big move to grab the early lead.

Three Magi

“Three Magi” by Ted (CC BY-SA 2.0), via Flickr.com

The call goes out to Magnesium Aluminum Silicate, or The Magi to his team mates, brings a strong list of talents to the team:

  • Absorbs well
  • Provides resistance to caking
  • Makes things visible (opacifies)
  • Help teammates flow in the offense better (Slip modifier)
  • Increases team viscosity

With the drive starting at the 19 yard line after a boring return, The Magi comes out firing on three fronts. With passes of 4, 2, and 5 yards, The Magi moves the ball and gets the first 1st down of the drive.

The Magi follows that up with a run for 2 yards and a pass for another 12 and a first down.

Time for Some Hurry Up

Going no huddle, The Magi tries to keep his team from caking up (clumping) with quick passes. But, the next two plays go incomplete and for a 2 yard loss.

With 3rd down and long, The Magi draws the defense off sides with a hard count for a 5 yard penalty on the defense.

The Magi then digs deep into his pocket of treasures and pulls out true gold on 3rd down and 7 yards. A perfect pass is dropped in over the CB and the L’Core WR heads for the North star before being pushed out of bounds. But, not until gaining 31 yards and a 1st down.

Staying with the no huddle, The Magi scrambles past Myrrh for 10 yards and another 1st down.

A quick pass to the slot WR gets a yards. But, a follow up pass after a fake frees up the WR. Diving towards the end zone, the WR’s knee hits first and the play is marked at the 1 yard line.

It takes The Magi three tries with three different gifts. But, the 3rd one from the 2 yard line is a charm as The Magi takes a swing pass and heads for the promised land for a TOUCHDOWN!  The extra point (a naturally occurring mineral) is GOOD!

Pola BA Goes Menthol

After Pola BA’s defense gave up the touchdown, the Pola BA Grandluxe II coach goes mental and sends in Menthol.

massage (baby rubbing it in)

“massage” by Hans Gotun (CC BY-ND 2.0), via Flickr.com

Menthol is known for helping to cure pain. With this move the Pola BA coach is hoping to rub a little Menthol on it and make things all better.

Menthol is also widely know for his cooling affect on skin. He can give a little tingling sensation with his moves. And, has been know to give defense a chilling effect at times.

Menthol is also strong to the smell. So, trick plays seldom work as the defense can easily sniff out any misdirection.

Menthol cools down the game on the first series by moving forward for a 1st down. This give the coach some of the relief he was looking for.

But, Menthol also has been know with overuse to cause stinging, burning and hypersentivity. While Menthol is trying to run from these rumors, he trips and falls for a 7 yard loss.

Unable to dig out of the hole from the lose, the coach is left red-faced from Menthol as Menthol punts the ball away on 4th down. The punt travels 41 yards and the L’Core Cristaline returner is able to grind out an 8 yard return give his team the ball at the 34 yard line.

L’Core Thins Out Offense with Butylene Glycol

In an attempt to keep the Polo BA defense in a luxury tailspin, the L’core Crystalline 60 Sec Face Lift Cream coach sends Butylene Glycol into the game.

old jeans

“old jeans” by potamos.photography (CC BY-ND 2.0), via Flickr.com

Butylene Glycol is known as a thinning agent. So, coach is looking to strip down the offense to base talents to keep Polo BA off balance.

Butylene Glycol brings several talents to the game including a pleasant fragrance. After hitting the defense with sweet olfactory sensory overload, Butylene Glycol brings solvent, skin conditioning, and viscosity decreasing gifts to bear.

If that wasn’t all, Butylene Glycol can help to preserve or retain moisture, mask other chemical smells, and comes to the game practically colorless while enhancing the teams texture.

Butylene Glycol uses all of these skills to march down the field using primarily short passing plays. After starting off the drive with a big 16 yard middle route, the drive included no huddle passing completions of 4, 6, 7, 4, and 6 yards.

But, as L’Core approached the end zone, the field shrank and Polo BA moved up on the L’Core receivers. This forced Butylene Glycol into two incompletions and a 4th down.

On 4th down Butylene Glycol easily makes a 41 yard FG to extend the L’Core lead.

Pola BA Responds with Hydrolyzed Conchiolin Solution

The Pola BA Grandluxe II coach isn’t happy that his defense gave back the FG his offense had earned on the previous drive. But, he was happy they did hold L’core to a FG.

After the FG, coach looks to respond by pumping protein into the game with Hydrolyzed Conchiolin Solution, or Hydro Conch as his fans shout as he enters the game.

Hydro Conch is more well known overseas. But, he brings strong skin conditioning talents to the game derived from crushed pearl training.

With almost 4 minutes until halftime, Hydro Conch is looking to put together a long time consuming drive that ends in points, but doesn’t leave enough time on the clock for L’core.

Putting together a controlled offense that sooths the defense using short conditioning plays, Hydro Conch runs 6 straight passing dump off plays that makes the defense think they are doing a good job. But, each play makes just enough to keep things alive.

Two Minute Warning

Gridiron Bingo: Two Minute Warning

“Gridiron Bingo: Two Minute Warning” by Ron Mader (CC BY-SA 2.0), via Flickr.com

Mixing in a deep pass and 17 and 19 yard completions, those 6 plays get Hydro Conch to the L’core 34 yard line as the 2 minute warning occurs.

After an incomplete pass stops the clock, Hydro Conch has to scramble on the next play and takes off on the run up the middle of the field. Not seeing the defense coming from all sides, Hydro Conch is sandwiched and fumbles the ball.

As the ball bounces around Hydro Conch is mad at himself for having coughed up the ball. But, as players dive and grab for the ball, it gets knocked back towards Hydro Conch and he is able to scoop it in from his place on the ground. The result of the play is a 15 yard gain.

Hydro Conch then runs three straight conditioning plays to what coach thinks is a defense that is softening to Hydro Conch talents. But, after gaining 9 yards to get to the 4 yard line on two plays, on 3rd down and 1, Hydro Conch’s pass to a wide open receiver just slips through the WRs hands. The ball just has too much conditioner on it and couldn’t be gripped.

On 4th down, Hydro Conch chips a 22 yard FG through the upright leaving just over a minute on the clock for L’core.

L’core Crystaline Looking for a Phenom

With only a little over 60 seconds left in the half, the L’core Crystaline 60 Sec Face Lift Cream coach is looking down his bench for someone that can give him a phenominal drive before the half.

Coach sees Phenoxyethanol and knows he has a chance with him. Phonox, as he’s know to teammates, is known for taking chances and going for risky plays. But, with so little time in the half, coach is willing to take the chance.

Phonox brings preservative talents to the field. This should work out well as Phonox will need to preserve the clock for a successful drive. Phonox is also known to bring a pleasant fragrance to his team.

Will Phonox come out smelling like a rose? Or, will he turn in a stinker of a performance? Fans in the stands are screaming for their home town player to get the job done.

Bringing sweet smelling plays to the game, Phonox completes short sweet passes of 4 and 12 yards. On one of the play his RB doesn’t get out of bounds. An rushed incomplete pass stops the clock with 33 seconds til half.

White male, White figure, Isolated, Candy Cane, Hook Route, InterceptionPhonox talks to the coach during the timeout and coach sends him back with a honey of a play. Phonox drills the pass to his WR for 14 yards and call a quick timeout with 24 seconds and the ball just now at midfield.

Coach then draws up a luscious deep candy cane hook route where he leaves a and RB in for extra blocking. The timing is perfect as the WR pulls down the 18 yard completion and Phonox signals for their 2nd timeout. The play took 6 more seconds off the clock leaving 18 seconds until the half.

With the play having worked so well, coach draws up the same play, but to the other side. Phonox drills the ball to his WR and it sticks to his hands like honey. Timeout, with 11 seconds on the clock.

The field shortens, so the candy cane route shouldn’t be nearly as effective. Coach decides to run the Broken Candy Cane route where the curl is faked and the WR break to the corner of the end zone. The defender reads the QB and sees that the curl is a fake.

But, Phonox is a risk taker and think he can fit the ball into the tight space. The nervous Phonox short arms the ball and it loses it steam. The DB jumps in front of the WR and intercepts the dry, dehydrated baby of a pass (just like the FDA said would happen).

Pola BA Grandluxe II Takes a Knee

Pola BA Grandluxe II takes the ball after the touchback and takes a knee to run out the clock.

Halftime: L’core Crystalline Takes a Slim Halftime Lead

13 – L’core Crystalline 60 Sec Face Lift Cream
6 – Pola BA Grandluxe II

 


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