Viva Labs Coconut Oil vs Elasta QP Olive Oil & Mango Butter

The Slippery Oil Division slides in just under the wire with the last game of round one of the Lotion Challenge.  It’s Viva Labs Organic Extra Virgin Coconut Oil vs Elasta QP Olive Oil & Mango Butter Moisturizer Unisex.

Viva Labs Organic Extra Virgin Coconut Oil

Elasta QP Olive Oil & Mango Butter Moisturizer Unisex

Do You Want the FAVORITE to Win this Game?


Viva Labs Organic Extra Virgin Coconut Oil has new found popularity and buzz associated with its primary talent.

Elasta QP Olive Oil & Mango Butter Moisturizer Unisex takes the fruit talents to the next level.

The Slippery Oil Division mixes it up with two teams that mix like oil and water.

Will the cuckoo for coconuts Viva Labs knock heads and take names?  Or, will the the Olive and Mango fruit cocktail throw the knockout punch?

The Players

Here are the players (ingredients) for each team (product).

Viva Labs Organic Extra Virgin Coconut Oil

Here is THE player for the Viva Labs team:

  • *Organic Extra Virgin Cold Pressed Coconut Oil

Wow!  This guy must be tired at the end of a game.  But, he is truly a STUD!

Elasta QP Olive Oil & Mango Butter Moisturizer Unisex

Here are the Elasta players:
  • Water
  • *Olive Oil
  • *Olea Europaea Fruit Oil
  • +Capric Caprylic Triglycerides
  • *PEG 75 Lanolin
  • +Behentrimonium Methosulfate
  • Cetearyl Alcohol
  • *Ceteareth-20
  • Mango Butter
  • Mangifera Indica Seed Butter
  • Cocoa Butter
  • Theobroma Cacao Seed Butter
  • *Coconut Oil
  • Cocos Nucifera Oil
  • Cetyl Alcohol
  • Dimethicone
  • Phenyl Trimethicone
  • –Retinyl Palmitate
  • +Tocopherol
  • Ascorbic Acid
  • Biotin
  • Linoleic Acid
  • Avocado Oil
  • Persea Gratissima Oil
  • Imidazolidinyl Urea
  • Methylparaben
  • Propylparaben
  • Hydrolyzed Silk
  • FD&C Yellow 5CI 19140
  • Fragrance
  • Benzyl Benzoate
  • Citral Citronellol
  • d-Limonene
  • Geraniol
  • Linalool

The Elasta QP team’s players are masculine enough to withstand the fruity taunts from opposing teams crowds.

Box Score

Viva Labs Coconut Oil
1st Quarter 15:00
Elasta QP Olive Oil & Mango Butter
Elasta QP wins the coin toss and will receive.
15:00 Viva kicks off.
0 - 0
0 - 3
10:30 Elasta QP's Olive Oil kicks a 49 yard FG!
0:43 Viva Lab's Coconut Oil catches a 13 yard pass for a TOUCHDOWN! The extra point is GOOD!
7 - 3
End of 1st Quarter 7 - 3
7 - 10
7:49 Elasta QP's Coconut Oil runs for a 9 yard TOUCHDOWN! The extra point is GOOD!
2:32 Viva Lab's Coconut Oil kicks a 37 yard FG!
10 - 10
10 - 13
0:08 Elasta QP's Olive Oil kicks a 50 yard FG!
Halftime 10 - 13
11:56 Viva Lab's Coconut Oil scores from 1 yard! The extra point is GOOD!
17 - 13
17 - 16
3:57 Elasta QP's Olea Europaea Fruit Oil kicks a 44 yard FG!
End of 3rd Quarter 17 - 16
11:56 Viva Lab's Coconut Oil scores on a 5 yard run! The extra point is GOOD!
End of 3rd Quarter 24 - 16

Drive By Drive Game Details

Elasta QP Wins the Coin Toss and Receives

Elasta QP wins the coin toss and will receive the opening kickoff.

The kickoff is caught at the 2 yard line by Elasta QP, Water catches to kick and flows down field seeping through tackles to the 42 yard line.

Oh, We Love the Choice to Start the Game for Elasta QP

Popeye (with Olive Oil)

“popeye” by Jonathan Gray (CC BY-SA 2.0), via

The Elasta QP coach pours Olive Oil into the game for the first drive.

Olive Oil (aside from being Popeye’s “goyl”), is a potent skin treatment.  Olive Oil, also know as DoubleO on the Elasta team, has talents like softening hands, and treating hand nails.

OO starts the first drive lined up at tight end.  Battling linebackers that are scratching at OO, the TE soothes the itchy linebackers and settles into a seam to catch an 18 yard completion.

OO the moves to RB and lathers it on thick as he pushes the line forward for 3 yards.

From the shotgun, the Elasta QP QB receives the snap and hands off to OO off right guard, creasing the wrinkle for another 3 yards.

Lining up again at TE, Olive Oil does a short down and out.  The ball is caught, but OO came back for the ball and is tackled a yard short of the first down.

On fourth down, OO lines up for a 49 yard FG.  The kick is up.  It’s strong enough (tough as nails).  It’s GOOD!

Viva Starts with… Who Else?

The Viva coach looks down his bench and sees…  No one.

Organic Extra Virgin Cold Pressed Coconut Oil is already up and ready to go into the game because he is THE player on this Viva team.


“mvp” by Craig Murphy (CC BY 2.0), via

CP-Coil (the coach calls him that to save time) enters the game.  CP-Coil has been the MVP of the Lotion Challenge league in previous years.  After all, he is the ONLY player on this Viva team.  There isn’t anyone more valuable to their team.

But, CP-Coil is also MVP because of all of the things he can do.

To begin the game the Viva coach tests the Elasta defense with two runs to the left side of the offense.  The Elasta defense stretches, but doesn’t break give up runs of 2 and 5 yards.

On 3rd down and 3 yards to go, CP-Coil goes in motion as the Viva QB lines up in the shotgun.  CP-Coil runs an out pattern, and the Viva QB delivers it crisply.  But, CP-Coil apparently wasn’t warm yet, and the ball slips through his hands for an incomplete pass.

On 4th down, CP-Coil punts the ball 54 yards in the air (wow, what a leg).  But, the Viva punt team isn’t able to catch up to the ball before it goes into the end zone for a touchback.

Elasta Goes with Ceteareth-20

After the punt, Elasta goes with Ceteareth-20, starting from the twenty yard line after the touch back.

Ceteareth 20 (or just C20 if you’re an insider), has had a rough go of it in social media.

C20 made some bad comments to the press after they accused C20 of skin tampering.  Studies are not conclusive yet.  And, C20 is looking to make a name for himself before his name is mud.

C20 is an emollient and emulsifier and works well with teammates.  Especially the alcohol brothers and also fatty acids.

On the first play, C20 is stuffed at the line of scrimmage, but still manages one yard.

fatty acid chain

“fatty acid chain” by Jessie James (CC BY 2.0), via

On 2nd down, C20 starts off blocking for a pass play, but then slips outside for a dump pass.  C20 takes the dump pass and uses the fatty acid brothers blocks to spring himself for 9 yards and a first down.

After another 1 yard gain, followed by an incomplete pass, C20 lines up at QB.  After needing to scramble for his life, C20 is hit hard and sacked.  The ball is loose and Viva jumps for a fumble recovery.

On replay, it become obvious that C20’s elbow hits the ground before the ball pops out.  The Elasta coach tosses the red flag and wants a review.

The review doesn’t take long and the ball goes back to Elasta.  But, the sack still loses 10 yards on the play.

This bring down a 4th down and C20 booms a punt 56 yards in the air and out of bounds at the Viva 23 yards line.

Viva Labs Is Nutty For CP-Coil

The Viva Labs coach has complete faith in CP-Coil (Cold Pressed Coconut Oil) and send CP-Coil into the game with the acne fighting playbook.

CP-Coil has so many talents the defense never knows what to do to defend it.

But, the Elasta QP defense was very hyped up feeding off of the home crowd on the first drive. Will they be able to keep this up (and keep CP-Coil down) all game long.

After the punt, Viva Labs starts the drive at its own 23 yard line. Lining up at TE, CP-Coil appears to be ready to run some acne fighting routes.

Shooting off the line of scrimmage at the snap, CP-Coil runs a route to shoot the LB gap. The defense is unable to keep up and can’t clog CP-Coil’s route. The Viva Labs QB sees CP-Coil the whole way and zips the ball into his hands for a quick 20 yard gainer.

Lining CP-Coil up at RB, Viva Labs hits the defense for the next four plays with pimple pounding runs of 1, 9, 16 and 4 yards.

On 2nd down and 6, the hand off is faked to CP-Coil, and the defense tries to aggravate the Viva Labs QB bringing the blitz (designed to clog the pores (running lanes)). But, after the fake, the defense isn’t sure what to do, so just keeps coming at the Viva Labs QB. CP-Coil slips behind the blockers and the Viva Labs QB is able to dump off the ball to CP-Coil before the QB is sandwiched on the play. CP-Coil catches the ball for a mild gain of 5 yards.

No Huddle

Hurrying up to the line of scrimmage (no huddle), CP-Coil takes the snap and bulls forward for 2 yards and a first down.

On the next first down play, the Viva Labs QB lines up in the shotgun, and CP-Coil goes in motion from left to right. At the snap, CP-Coil sprints past the defender towards the flag in the corner of the end zone, and the Viva Labs QB lofts the ball up to CP-Coil. CP-Coil leaps for the ball, but isn’t able to keep his feet in bounds as the zit busting defense puts pressure on the leaping receiver.

Hike from the Shotgun Formation-- Fairmont State (in white) vs. Shepherd at Ram Sadium Shepherdstown (WV) Saturday November 10, 2012

“Hike from the Shotgun Formation– Fairmont State (in white) vs. Shepherd at Ram Sadium Shepherdstown (WV) Saturday November 10, 2012” by Ron Cogswell (CC BY 2.0), via


On 2nd down, CP-Coil lines up in the slot, and runs a curl route without a blemish. The ball is zipped into CP-Coil’s hands as he is tackled after a gain of 7 yards.

The field is getting short with the ball line up at the 13 yard line, so the coach sends in a play to cleanse the defense of any blackhead DBs. CP-Coil lines up in the slot again, and runs a route to scrub off a defender using another defender. The play works to perfection as CP-Coil gets the covering DB to collide with the CB.

CP-Coil removes the pressure of the defense and CP-Coil POPS into the corner of the end zone all alone. The Viva Labs QB pierces the defense with a pressing pass that finds its target in the end zone for a TOUCHDOWN! The extra point (CP-Coil works 15 times harder than benzoil peroxide) is GOOD!

Elasta QP Says “An Eye for an Eye” with Coconut Oil

Coconut face

“Coconut face” by tree-species (CC BY 2.0), via

As the Elasta QP coach watches the Viva Labs Coconut Oil run rampant over his defense, he gets the idea to counteract the Viva Labs Coconut Oil with his own.

The Elasta QP Coconut Oil is a very strong player with a laundry list of qualities that make it one of the strongest players on the Elasta QP team. But, since he is only a small percentage of the total team, he isn’t as effective using his talents as the Viva Labs Coconut Oil can be.

But, that doesn’t mean he can’t accomplish a lot. The Elasta QP coach is counting on it as he calls three straight running plays that go for 5, 8, and 6 yards. The first quarter ended after the first play.

With Coconut Oil looking strong and showing no signs of weariness, the defense crowds the line of scrimmage trying to get a jump on the Elaste QP O-line. The Elasta QP QB sees that and with a hard count, draws them off sides for a 5 yard penalty.

Coconut Oil on a Roll

Going right back to Coconut Oil, the Elasta QP coach is basically saying to the defense that “you can’t stop Coconut Oil”. And, they can’t as Coconut Oil jukes and cuts for 8 yards.

Going no huddle to keep the defense from being able to catch their breath, the Elasta QP QB fakes the handoff to Coconut Oil and looks deep hoping to catch the Viva Labs safety cheating up. But, the defense is solid and the Elaste QP QB tries to dump the ball off to Coconut Oil. But, the pass is rushed and falls incomplete.

On 3rd and a short 2, the defense again is expecting a Coconut Oil rush up the middle. The Elasta QP QB is again able to draw them off sides with a hard count for a first down.

Coconut Oil is given the rock again on first down and this time breaks into the Viva Labs backfield bouncing of would be UV sunray tacklers, Coconut Oil has a natural protection from them and they can’t lay a hand on him. The rumble goes for 23 yards.

Timeout to Rest Coconut Oil

SOOC (Coconut Oil is winded)

“SOOC” by Nicki Varkevisser (CC BY-SA 2.0), via

The Elasta QP coach seeing that Coconut Oil is winded from the long run, calls a timeout to give him a rest.

It’s their first timeout.

Coming straight from the sidelines to the line of scrimmage (no huddle), Coconut Oil lines up at WR to confuse the defense. The QB catches the snap from the shotgun and fires the pass to Coconut Oil in the left flat. But, the pass is off target and flutters to the ground.

On 2nd and 10, the Elasta QP coach goes back to the running game with Coconut Oil, and he rips of 5 yards to the Viva Labs 9 yard line.

On 3rd down and 5 yards, Coconut Oil flexes his multi-talented muscles, and cooks, cleans and moisurizes his way into the end zone for a spectacular 9 yard run for a TOUCHDOWN! The extra point (there are so many) is GOOD!

Viva Labs Gets Cute with CP-Coil

The Viva Labs coach watches the kickoff sail out of the end zone for a touchback as he flips through his CP-Coil playbook.

The coach sends Cold Pressed Coconut Oil into the game with the Cuticle Oil set of plays.

CP-Coil has many talents, one of them is the use of his oil on cuticles to make them easier to push back or cut for a manicure. Will this play result in points for Viva, or will this drive be cut short in disappointment.

On 1st down, CP-Coil takes the handoff, starts around left end and cuts off his running route to blast through left guard for 7 yards.

On the next plan, the Viva QB drops back to pass and looks for CP-Coil on a down and out. But, the pass is dropped as CP-Coil’s nails are cut too short to get that last bit of grip on the ball.

On 3rd down, CP-Coil lines up in the slot and runs a down and out to the left sidelines. This time the QB is quick with the release and CP-Coil concentraces harder and makes the catch. He has to reach out with the ball as CP-Coil goes out of bounds to try and get the first down. The stretch works as the referee measurement finds the ball just inches past the first down marker.

Finger Tip Catch

365::101 - dazzling (fingertip catch!)

“365::101 – dazzling” by Sarah Reid (CC BY 2.0), via

On the next play, CP-Coil lines up on the left side to test the Elasta QP left CB. CP-Coil oils up the CB with what looks like a down and out. But, the play is a double move and CP-Coil smoothly glides up the sidelines.

The Viva Labs QB lofts the ball up, and CP-Coil is ready this time with perfectly manicures finger tips to make the catch (see picture to believe this catch!) for a 38 yard gain before being pushed out of bounds by the safety.

On the next play, CP-Coil lines up on the opposite side and makes the right CB think they are running the same play. But, as the 2nd move to cut up field is made, the QB delivers the pass to the back shoulder and CP-Coil turns back to make a 21 yard catch.

CP-Coil then lines up in the backfield and takes the handoff over left guard for 3 yards.

Slippery When Wet

Taking out some extra oil to soften the cuticles, CP-Coil takes a pitch to the right side, but the ball slips through his finger tips (too much oil). Scrambling back, CP-Coil dives for the fumble and is able to corral it after an 11 yard loss.

On 3rd down and long, the Viva QB lines up in the shotgun, and CP-Coil starts in the backfield and goes into motion. At the snap, CP-Coil runs an underneath route, trying to draw the secondary to the left side. The Viva QB looks deep down the middle, but the Elasta QP defense doesn’t bite on the shorter route.

Running out of time, the Viva QB has to scramble to the left and decides to deliver the ball to CP-Coil. CP-Coil shakes and bakes, but there’s too much defense, and CP-Coil can only get to the 19 yard line.

On 4th down, CP-Coil lines up the kick, brushes his nails on his chest, and boots the 37 yard FG straight up the middle. The FG is GOOD!

Elasta QP Sends in It’s Namesake

Wanting to keep the upper hand, the Elasta QP coach sends in one of his better players and the player the team was named after. Olea Europaea Fruit Oil, or Olive Oil, enters the game.

O-Oil brings a strong pleasant fragrance to the team. He also helps to condition the team (skin).

Gridiron Bingo: Two Minute Warning

“Gridiron Bingo: Two Minute Warning” by Ron Mader (CC BY-SA 2.0), via

On the first play, O-Oil starts under center and scrambles outside for 3 yards. This brings the clock down to the 2-minute warning.

O-Oil then receives a dump pass from the Elasta QP QB and tries to beat the defender to the outside. But, O-Oil runs out of real estate as the defense sniffs him out and contains him for 3 yards.

The Elasta QP coach uses his 2nd timeout.

On 3rd down and 3 yards, O-Oil takes a draw hand off and setting up the defense with an inside fake, O-Oil pops outside for a pleasant smelling 8 yard run for a first down.

From the no huddle, O-Oil takes another dump pass and runs for the sidelines for a 5 yard gain and also stops the clock.

O-Oil from the no huddle again has a pass slip through his conditioned hands for an incomplete.

Timeout Called by Elasta QP

The Elasta QP coach calls his last timeout to get O-Oil’s hands wiped off.

On 3rd down and 5, O-Oil takes the snap and looks left and finds a covered WR. He then looks right to find another covered WR. O-Oil feeling the pressure ducks his head and sprints straight up field. Feeling the LBs coming, O-Oil dives for the extra yards for a 12 yard run.

Going no huddle again, O-Oil has another pass bounce of his hands. Being out of timeouts, O-Oil is just going to have to hope his pants are dry enough (wiping hands on pants) to finish the drive.

On 2nd and long, the Elaste QP coach is running out of time, so is just looking to get into position for a FG attempt. O-Oil takes the draw play handoff and squirts up the middle for a solid 6 yards.

Going Hurry Up

Going no huddle, O-Oil goes in motion and runs a down and out. The Elasta QP QB delivers a strike to O-Oil for the first down. But, O-Oil can’t get out of bounds to top the clock.

O-Oil urges the team to line up. Making sure everyone is set, O-Oil spikes the ball to stop the clock.

DSCF6151 Becky kicks.

“DSCF6151” by Joe Loong (CC BY-SA 2.0), via

This brings up 2nd down and 10 with 18 seconds left until halftime.

Lining up in the shotgun O-Oil drops back to pass. Looking deep to the left side, O-Oil lofts the ball up and into the end zone to give his WR a change.

Unfortunately, the referee are letting them play and an obvious pass interference call goes ignored as the ball is slapped away.

On 4th down, O-Oil lines up to attempt a 50 yard FG. O-Oil smells the air to give himself some confidence. The snap is perfect. And, O-Oil boots the ball up and down the middle for a perfect 50 yard FG!

Viva Labs Goes to the Locker Room to Regroup

The Elasta kickoff was lined into the ground and bounce around to around the 20 yard line.

The Viva Labs return man immediately fell on the ball to stop the clock and give his coach time to decide what to do the the final 8 seconds of the first half.

But, the Viva Labs coach was no fool and decided to have his QB take a knee.

The Viva Labs team retreated into the locker room to regroup and try to improve on a shaky first half.

Halftime – Elasta Holds Home Field

After a back and forth first half, Elasta is feeling pretty soft and silky with the way their first half went.

Even though Viva Labs know that their short handed team is strong and in shape.  The VL coach was ready to get into the locker room to allow his star player to get some rest for the second half.

The good news for the Viva Labs coach is that CP-Coil is well know for wearing down defenses.  So, the coach was not in the least discouraged with being down 3 points at the half.  Especially knowing their team would get the ball on the first drive of the second half.

You’ll Never Guess Who Viva Starts with for the 2nd Half

Ok, maybe you will guess. Yes, it’s CP-Coil coming out after a nice halftime rest.

The Viva Labs Organic Extra Virgin Coconut Oil coach sends CP-Coil out to take the kickoff.

With fresh legs, CP-Coil has a little burst and gets through the first line of defenders. A couple of 2nd line defenders climb on top of CP-Coil to try and slow him down. By the time enough defenders get to CP-Coil, the return has gone to the 41 yard line.

On 1st down, and out of breath from the long return, CP-Coil is given the hand-off and is still able to find a hole into the secondary. CP-Coil rumbles for 11 yards.


“juggernaut” by istolethetv (CC BY 2.0), via

CP-Coil is unstoppable again on the next play and massages his way down field for another 17 yards.

CP-Coil goes in motion on the next play and fakes a down and out. Going up the sidelines, the Viva QB zips the pass between the CB and the safety. CP-Coil is pushed out after protein flow of 25 yards.

CP-Coil stays in to block, but then leaks out with thick steps into the flat. The Viva QB finds CP-Coil and CP-Coil is stopped just short of the goal line.

Using the no huddle, the Viva QB takes a quick snap and CP-Coil takes the carry up the middle for a skin repairing 1 yard TOUCHDOWN! The extra point (being so versitile) is GOOD!

Elasta QP Spreads the Field with Olea Europaea Fruit Oil

Following the Viva Labs score, the Elasta QP coach looks very concerned. The coach is realizing that Elasta QP needs to score consistently because their defense is pretty much not able to stop the Viva Labs offense.

With this in mind, the Elasta QP coach selects Olea Europaea Fruit Oil to keep Elasta QP in the game.

Olea Europaea Fruit Oil is a type of olive oil that is extracted from the fruit of an olive. OEFO (the knickname that caught on) has talents that involve making the Elasta QP team smell better.

OEFO works well as a solvent to weaken the opponents defense (usually tough skin).

And, OEFO is a skin conditioning agent that provides occlusive properties.

The Elasta QP coach sends OEFO out to get points on the board, and OEFO is determined.

The Perfume Test

Love Potions

“Love Potions” by Vetiver Aromatics (CC BY-SA 2.0), via

Using extracted perfumes, OEFO wafts his way through the Viva Labs defense with grace. But, it wasn’t easy in the beginning having to get a 1st down on 3rd and 9 with a nice play where OEFO conditioned the CB to go in with a fake. But, then stopped on a dime and completed a 12 yard play.

This opened up the offense with some emollient plays that turned in big gains by OEFO of 12, 20, and another 12 yards.

Marching right down the field, OEFO used skin conditioning plays that buttered up the defense. This created pockets of yards that were gobbled up by OEFO.

On first down on the 33 yard line, OEFO turned in two fragrant plays. But, the defense sniffed them out from more modest gains of 2 and 0 yards.

On 3rd down an long, Elasta QP went no huddle hoping to catch Viva labs off guard. But, the play was tripped up for a modest 5 yard gain.

On 4th down, OEFO lined up a 44 yard FG. The snap was up, and OEFO drilled the ball with precision through the uprights for a FG!

Viva Los Coconuts

The Viva Labs Organic Extra Virgin Coconut Oil coach doesn’t have much to say to his star player.

Coach just gives him a look that says Go Make it Happen.

Fish are eating dead skin off Steve's feet.

“Fish are eating dead skin off Steve’s feet.” by Connie Ma (CC BY-SA 2.0), via

CP-Coil enters the game with a sheet of plays designed to slough off dead skin.

And, with an offensive line that is known to knock the defense backwards, those dead skin defenders are falling off left and right.

The game plan for this drive is simple. CP-Coil left, CP-Coil to the right, and CP-Coil up the middle. It’s up to the defense to guess where to try and pile up the dead skin (defenders).

But, CP-Coil and this offensive line are powerful and are able to shed dead skin defenders with relative ease.

With plays of 8, 2, 4, 5, 9, and 2, CP-Coil keeps the sticks and the clock moving. The Elasta QP defense has been pounded by CP-Coil all day. And, this relentless run game has them on their heels.

More runs of 5 and 12 get another first down before Elasta QP decides to bring everyone up to the line of scrimmage for stops of no gain and -1 yards to end the 3rd quarter.

On 3rd down and 11, Elasta QP goes back to a standard pass defense, and CP-Coil takes the draw play and drags defenders just short of the first down. Being in Elasta QP territory, the Viva coach goes for it on 4th down and CP-Coil moves the pile for 3 yards and a 1st down.

At this point the Elasta QP defense is defeated as they give up runs of 15, 1, 5, 5, 1, and 5. CP-Coil then plows through the dead skin line of defenders for the final 5 yards for a TOUCHDOWN! The extra point (moisturizes under the dead skin) is GOOD!

Elasta QP Pegs #75 Lanolin

The Elasta QP Olive Oil and Mango Butter coach is pretty down after the Viva Labs touchdown. He’s mad his defense didn’t put up much of a fight.

The Slaughtered Lamb

“The Slaughtered Lamb” by Stuart Chalmers (CC BY-ND 2.0), via

Coach sheepishly looks down his bench and sees his big #75 sitting at the end of the bench looking disinterested. Coach barks at PEG-75 Lanolin and tells him to get into the game and “do something”. PEG-75 Lanolin grabs his helmet and starts to stroll out onto the field like a lamb to slaughter.

But, then coach grabs the big #75 by the lapel and gets in his face for the whole team to see. Coach rips him a new one, yelling and jumping and making a scene.

Eventually coach gives him the order to make things happen and PEG-75 Lanolin turns with a look of determination on his face.

PEG-75 Lanolin is actually very talented with abilities like reducing surface tension, skin lubrication, and skin conditioning.

The big 75 Lanolin takes the rock on the first two plays and is stuffed for a short run of 3 yards and no gain. Coach glares at Lanolin after the last run and on the next play, PEG-75 Lanolin breaks three tackles at the line of scrimmage and the safety takes a bad angle.

PEG-75 Lanolin is off to the races. Having split the surface tension between his guard and tackle, PEG-75 Lanolin is rumbling, stumbling, and bumbling down field with a herd of defenders chasing. PEG-75 Lanolin runs out of real estate at the Viva Labs 16 yard line.

Coach calls a timeout to give PEG-75 Lanolin a breather.

Still breathing hard, PEG-75 Lanolin gets some quality blocking up front and using skin lubrication talents, PEG-75 Lanolin slips some tackles for a 10 yard gain.

Coach wants to call another timeout, but being down in the game, coach feels he needs to save them for late in the game. PEG-75 Lanolin is out of gas, but manages runs of 2, 1 and 1 yards to push the ball to the 2 yard line.

Coach still feeling the game slip away, thinks he sees PEG-75 Lanolin gaining a 2nd wind. So, coach sends in the 4th down play and has the team go “no huddle” to try and catch them not ready.

But, Viva Labs is a well coached team and has their sights on a juicy leg of lamb. Trying the same play that netted 50 yards earlier in the drive, PEG-75 Lanolin tries to squeeze again between guard and tackle. But, PEG-75 Lanolin just doesn’t have enough in the tank to break the tackles this time and is stuffed at the line of scrimmage to turn the ball over on downs.

Viva Cuckoo For Coconuts

After Viva Labs goal line stand and an 8 point lead, you would think that the Viva Labs Organic Extra Virgin Coconut Oil coach might play it conservatively.

Caricature, Cartoon Clock, Cuckoo Bird in ClockBut, no!

Coach lines his team up in shotgun formation and sends his star player CP-Coil (Cold Pressed Coconut Oil) in motion.  CP-Coil fakes a cut back on his route, and sprints to the sidelines.  The Viva QB zips the ball into CP-Coil’s capable hands and CP-Coil makes it to the sidelines for a 6 yard gain on 1st down.

With an 8 point lead, the Viva coach defies expectations and has CP-Coil go no huddle with a quick snap. CP-Coil takes the handoff, and almost breaks a tackle at the line of scrimmage. But, CP-Coil is tripped up for only a 1 yard gain.

On 3rd down and 3, CP-Coil goes back to the shotgun. Staying in to block for his QB, CP-Coil chips a blitzing LB and then cuts outside for a pass. CP-Coil uses his masking talents to slow down the LB before getting out into the pass pattern. But, the LB is able to blow by CP-Coil since CP-Coil is starting to get tired. The Viva QB isn’t able to get a good pass off before getting blasted. The ball falls incomplete.

On 4th down, CP-Coil takes the snap and kicks a low line drive punt 43 yards in the air. The punt is caught and returned for 11 yards to give Elasta the break they needed to try and get back into this game.


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