Jun 272016
 

ShiKai Borage Hand Cream vs L’Occitane Shea Butter

The second game for the East/West Hands Division is a clash of the titans.  This game will help to determine which team deserves the title of Best Hand Cream for Calluses.  It’s ShiKai Borage Hand Cream vs L’Occitane Shea Butter.

ShiKai Borage Dry Skin Therapy Hand Cream


L’Occitane Shea Butter Hand Cream



VS






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ShiKai Borage Dry Skin Therapy Hand Cream is a team with a long history of making great lotion.  Having been in the business for over 45 years give Shikai some experience that many teams don’t have.

L’Occitane Shea Butter Hand Cream just turned 40.  So, it is a baby when compared to Shikai.  But, the diapers came off of this team a long time ago.  And, L’Occitane has a much stronger following with almost 28 times the number of fans.

In the East/West Hands Division, ShiKia wins with Omega-6 nutrients from the Borage plant.  They also do very well by having a great price point.  They also provide relief from calluses by softening your skin.

The L’Occitane owner has built a great reputation for not only hand lotions, but also face and body lotions, as well as fragrances.

Players

Here are the players (ingredients) for each team (product).

ShiKai Borage Hand Cream

ShiKai Borage Hand Cream’s full team consists of:

  • Aloe Vera gel
  • Safflower seed oil
  • Glyceryl stearate
  • Glycerine
  • Jojoba seed oil
  • Borage seed oil
  • Cetyl alcohol (vegetable wax)
  • Vitamin E acetate
  • *Dimethicone
  • Shea butter
  • Sodium ascorbyl phosphate (vitamin C)
  • *Phenoxyethanol
  • +L-ergothioneine
  • Ethylhexyl glycerin (certified organic)

ShiKai Borage Hand Cream has a small but powerful team.  Coming in as a strong underdog, does ShiKai Borage have the handles to give L’Occitane a good game.

L’Occitane Shea Butter Hand Cream

L’Occitane Shea Butter Hand Cream’s lengthy and complicated roster includes:

  • Aqua/Water/Eau (Water)
  • *Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea Butter)
  • Glycerin
  • Dimethicone
  • Cetearyl Alcohol
  • Glyceryl Stearate
  • Linum Usitatissimum (Linseed) Seed Extract
  • Mel (Honey Extract)
  • Prunus Amygdalus Dulcis (Sweet Almond) Fruit Extract
  • Althaea Officinalis Root Extract
  • Cocos Nucifera (Coconut) Oil
  • Brassica Campestris (Rapeseed) Sterols
  • Rosmarinus Officinalis (Rosemary) Leaf Extract
  • *Helianthus Annuus Seed Oil (Sunflower)
  • Xanthan Gum
  • Parfum/Fragrance
  • -Polyacrylamide
  • PEG-100 Stearate
  • Propylene Glycol
  • C13-14 Isoparaffin
  • Ceteareth 33
  • Alcohol Denatured
  • Laureth 7
  • Benzonic Acid
  • Dehydroacetic Acid
  • *Phenoxyethanol
  • Benzyl Alcohol
  • Benzyl Benzoate
  • Hydroxyisohexl 3 Cyclohexene Carboxaldehyde
  • -Linalool
  • -Citronellol
  • Butylphenyl Methlyproprional
  • =Coumarin
  • -Alpha-Isomethyl Ionone
  • Hexyl Cinnamal
  • =Limonene
  • =Geraniol

L’Occitane Shea Butter Hand Cream’s roster is a large assortment of talent.  It will be a challenge for the L’Occitane Hand Cream coach to pick the right talent that dials up a win against this small but strong ShiKai team.

Drive By Drive Game Details

In this section we will give the details for each drive each team has.  Each drive will identify a player for the team with the ball on the specific drive.

Each player represents an ingredient on the team (in the product).

If the player is good and has enough talents (traits of the ingredient), the drive will likely end in points.

The team (product) with the most points at the end of the game will be one step closer to owning the title of Best Hand Cream for Calluses.

L’Occitane Hand Cream Wins the Toss and Will Receive

L’Occitane Hand Cream wins the coin flip and ShiKai Borage Hand Cream will open the game kicking off.

L’Occitane Opens With Butyrospermum Parkii

The L’Occitane coach opens the game spreading it on thick with Butyrospermum Parkii.

Butyrospermum Parkii, or otherwise known as Shea Butter, has an array of talents that include:

  • Providing viscosity (thickness)
  • Helps to retain moisture in skin
  • Conditions skin
  • Works as an anti-inflammatory
  • Combats cold winter dry skin
  • Soothes itchy skin
  • Calms sun burns
  • Absorbs UVB rays
  • Provides antioxidant properties

After the L’Occitane returner brought the ball back to the 24 yard line, Shea Butter smoothly strolled into the game to run the offense.

On 1st down, Shea Butter might have been a little too calm as the Shikai Borage defense was extra pumped up. A short reception by Shea Butter was stuffed for a 2 yard loss.

Smooth as Buttah

“Shea Butter Macro January 05, 20111” by Steven Depolo (CC BY 2.0), via Flickr.com

Shea Butter woke up on the next play and the L’Occitane team did a better job of selling a deep pass play. Shea Butter blocked early on the play and then slipped out of the pocket to receive a short pass.

This time the defense loss track of Shea Butter and by the time they realize that Shea Butter had the ball, Shea Butter had slithered up field for a nice gain. By the time Shea Butter was corralled and pushed out of bounds, the play had gone for 14 yards.

The L’Occitane coach then decided to shove some Shea Butter down the throats of Shikai Borage. The first play was stuffed for no gain. But, then Shea Butter rolled for 4 and 6 yards for a first down.

The L’Occitane coach then went away from Shea Butter on consecutive pass plays that both fell incomplete.

On 3rd down and long, Shea Butter ran the perfect route to get the first down. But, the ball slipped through Shea Butter’s fingers and fell harmlessly to the ground.

On 4th down, after a 5 yard false start penalty, Shea Butter took the snap and didn’t get all of a punt that only traveled 35 yards.

Shikai Borage Wants to Irritate Early

The Shikai Borage Hand Cream coach is expecting a dog fight in this game. So, he sends out his meanest dog to start the game.

Phenoxyethanol is, on the surface, a fragrant preservative that provides a nice smelling feel for Shikai Borage. But, under the surface, Phenoxyethanol is one mean dog.

Phenoxyethanol is a known irritant and can “get under your skin”, so to speak. The Shikai Borage coach is hoping to throw L’Occitane off of its game early with this play.

“The Donald Sandwich : Full of baloney, a tiny pickle, side of Russian dressing, and surrounded by a wall of Mexican chips. #LoserDonald” by H. Michael Karshis (CC BY 2.0), via Flickr.com

Phenoxy Bologna (his fond nickname to his teammates) starts of the first Shikai Borage drive with a hand off over left guard.

Phenoxy Bologna presses through the hole for 3 yards.

On 2nd down, Phenoxy Bologna goes in motion and at the snap turns up field and tries to trip up the LB.

He misses and while distracted with the LB, the ball sails past Phenoxy Bologna’s ear for an incomplete pass.

Phenoxy Bologna turns to his QB and gives him a dirty look.

The QB bites his head off as Phenoxy Bologna shuffles back to the huddle.

Full of It

On 3rd and 7, Phenoxy Bologna lines up in the backfield and at the snap stays in to block. The play is a screen pass, and Phenoxy Bologna grabs one of the rushing defensive lineman and with a big hand full of jersey, throws him to the ground before stepping to the outside for the screen pass.

Phenoxy Bologna catches the screen, and with vigor and vim bashes through the defense for 25 yards. But, all for naught as the fluffy yellow flag falls delicately to the feet of the DL that Phenoxy Bologna threw to the ground.

HOLDING, offense #22, 10 yard penalty.

Phenoxy Bologna is not only irritating the defense, he is irriating his own team and the Shikai Borage coach.

On 3rd down and very long, Phenoxy Bologna lines up wide and at the snap runs a post pattern. The Shikai Borage QB throws the pass deep, but Phenoxy Bologna can’t put any mustard on that ball as it falls harmlessly to the ground.

On 4th down Phenoxy Bologna drops back and kicks a high punt that is caught with a fair catch at the 44 yard line by L’Occitane.

L’Occitane Says Here Comes the Sun (♩ ♪ ♫ ♬)

“Sunflower” by b0jangles (CC BY 2.0), via Flickr.com

The L’Occitane Shea Butter coach looks to the sky for a sign and hears the a commercial playing on the monitor. It’s “Here Comes the Sun ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬”.

Coach turns and sends in Helianthus Annuus Seed Oil to try and motivate the team to the tune.

Helianthus Annuus Seed Oil (HASO) is an amber toned player with translucent skin. HASO is extracted from Sunflower seeds and brings several talents to the team.

HASO is a skin conditioning dynamo that has blocking (occlusive) skills. HASO also has emollient skills to soften up the defense (opposing teams skin) while smoothing his own teams wrinkles.

HASO starts of the drive with great field position near midfield. Using his softening talents, HASO pounds the defense with runs up the gut.

After a couple of runs and a first down, HASO goes play action and hits it big with a skin conditioning catch for 29 yards down to the Shikai 11 yard line.

But, the Shikai defense stiffens to HASO’s talents and forces HASO to settle for a 31 yard FG to give L’Occitane the first quarter lead.

Shikai Borage Defoams with Dimethicone

The Shikai Borage Dry Skin Therapy Hand Cream coach isn’t phased by the early FG by L’Occitane. He had confidence in his team.

Looking down the bench, coach picks one of his multi-talented players in Dimethicone.

“Stobie Protection” by Michael Coghlan (CC BY-SA 2.0), via Flickr.com

Dimethicone is known to be a tough, sometimes dirty player. He gets in there and protects his teammates (especially Skin). He hates foam and destroys it at every turn. Dimethicone has occlusive traits that protect teammates from defensive slime and moisture.

On the other hand, Dimethicone has been caught cheating performing these activities. Rumors of organ toxicity is one penalty that has be floating about.

After the touch back, Dimethicone heads out to lead his team. Staying in to protect his QB, Dimethicone gives the QB enough time to open the drive with a deep pattern down the left sidelines. The defender is caught off guard by the double move and ends up grabbing and getting a 20 yard pass interference call.

In an attempt to condition the defense, Dimethicone lead a run over right guard. But, the defense is ready and stuffs it for a 1 yard loss.

Coach then decides to go back to the well another time with two deep plays. Dimethicone does his job and seals the backfields from defensive rush. The first play is defended well and goes incomplete. But, the next play is a pass deep middle that goes for 27 yards!

Unfortunately, Dimethicone is caught for holding and the play goes for naught. On 3rd and a country mile, Dimethicone rolls out on a screen pass to protect the RB. But, he is again called for a penalty for Ineligible Downfield.

The RB dropped the ball on the play, so the defense declined the penalty and Dimethicone punted the ball high and deep. The returner had no choice but to call for a fair catch at their own 20 yard line.

L’Occitane SB Goes Smelly and Dirty

The L’Occitane Shea Butter Hand Cream coach likes his teams start. The defense looks great. But, coach gets a little greedy hoping to cash in on some of Phenoxyethanol’s underhanded traits.

Phenoxyethanol heads into the game starting on his own 20 yard line. Phenoxyethanol does have a couple of solid talents like being a preservative, or acting as a stabilizing force for the team.

However, Phenoxyethanol does come with some baggage. Even though his fragrant qualities make him seem pleasant, Phenoxyethanol is usually a strong irritant.

“Mad Santa” by Branden Williams (CC BY 2.0), via Flickr.com

From minor exzema, to severe life-threadening allergies, to affecting an infant’s nervous system if exposed orally, Phenoxyethanol just ticks everyone off.

Starting off at the 20 in the shotgun, Phenoxyethanol takes the direct snap and with strong stablizing steps, plunges off right guard fighting for 5 yards.

Trash talking all the way back to the huddle, the defense isn’t liking the smell of Phenoxyethanol at all. The middle linebacker calls his own number on the next play and blitzes Phenoxyethanol hard up the middle. Phenoxyethanol doesn’t have a chance and shuts him up for a 9 yard loss.

On 3rd down an long, Phenoxyethanol lines up in the shotgun again and monitors the secondary. Without any WRs getting open and his defense not providing the protection he’s used to getting, Phenoxyethanol has to quickly dump the ball off to his RB.

But, the RB looks up field before securing the ball, and he drops the pass. Phenoxyethanol having a full field to use for a 4th down punt, just absolutely BOOMs the kick high and deep. It travels out of bounds, but not until travelling 57 yards in the air.

Box Score

ShiKai Borage
1st Quarter 15:00
L’Occitane Shea Butter
ShiKai Borage wins the coin toss and will defer to the 2nd half. Hemp receives.
0 - 0
15:00 L’Occitane Shea Butter kicks off.
0 - 3
7:25 L’Occitane Shea Butter's Helianthus Annuus Seed Oil (HASO) kicks a 31 yard FG.


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