Aveeno Bar With Natural Colloidal Oatmeal vs Vanicream Cleansing Bar
Do You Want the FAVORITE to Win This Game?
Aveeno Bar With Natural Colloidal Oatmeal brings years of experience and an extremely large and loud fan base.
Vanicream Cleansing Bar is coming in as an underdog. But, their smaller fan base is considered one of the most loyal in the Lotion Challenge League.
The Squeaky Clean Bar Soap Division of the Lotion Challenge League suds up for a great game of bar soap cleanliness.
Will the experience of and size of Aveeno’s fan base be able to stand up to the even loader and more loyal fan base of Vanicream?
Here are the players (ingredients) for each team (product).
Aveeno Bar With Natural Colloidal Oatmeal
- *Oat (Avena Sativa) Flour
- *Cetearyl Alcohol
- *Stearic Acid
- +Sodium Cocoyl Isethionate
- +Disodium Lauryl Sulfosuccinate
- +Hydrogenated Vegetable Oil
- *Titanium Dioxide
- -Citric Acid
- +Sodium Trideceth Sulfate
- +Hydrogenated Castor Oil
Aveeno has a good size talented and formidable team.
Vanicream Cleansing Bar
Vanicream Cleansing Bar’s lineup:
- *Sodium Cocoyl Isethionate
- Stearic Acid
- *Sodium Stearate
- Coconut Acids
- *Sodium Lauroyl Sarcosinate
- Paraffin Wax
- Sodium Cocoate
- Sodium Isethionate
- White Petrolatum
- Cetearyl Alcohol and Ceteareth-20
- Titanium Dioxide
- Propylene Glycol
- Glyceryl Monostearate
- Polyethylene Glycol Monostearate
- Sorbic Acid
Vanicream Cleansing Bar is one of your larger teams. But, can their talent match up.
Drive By Drive Game Details
Vanicream wins the coin toss and will receive.
Vanicream Opens with Sodium Cocoyl Isethionate
After an Aveeno kickoff into the end zone for a touchback, Vanicream takes the field on the opening drive. The Vanicream Cleansing Bar coach goes with Sodium Cocoyl Isethionate to run the team.
Sodium Cocoyl Isethionate is the primary player (ingredient) on the Vanicream team.
BabyFoam (Sodium Cocoyl Isethionate’s on the field), gets that nickname from how soft and silky his touch is on the field.
BabyFoam is Top Notch Talent
BabyFoam bring top notch talents to the game:
- Mild cleanliness
- Gently lowers surface tension between players (liquids and other liquids; liquids and solids)
- Based on coconut fatty acids
- Efficient cleaner
- Very little odor
- Delivers luxurious foam
- Affects skin in a silky way
- Works well in soft or hard water
On the opening play, BabyFoam cleanly catches a pass in the flat for a 6 yard gain.
The BabyFoam gets a little “silky luxury” on the football on the catch and it affects the Vanicream QB as the ball slips out of his hands while attempting the 2nd down pass. The ball falls incomplete short of the WR.
On 3rd and 4, BabyFoam lines up at TE, and runs a silent odorless in/out route. Faking a move to the inside, BabyFoam reverses field and cuts to the sidelines and the Vanicream QB delivers the pass for a 4 yard gain and a 1st down.
BabyFoam is Sliming Down Field
For a second time BabyFoam “slimes” the ball, and when Vanicream hurries up to the line of scrimmage to try and catch Aveeno unprepared on defense.
Unfortunately, the Vanicream QB again has the ball slip out of his hands, and fall to the ground. The referee rules it an incomplete forward pass.
BabyFoam borrows a towel from one of the Vanicream lineman and lines up at RB. Taking the handoff, BabyFoam tries to clean up, but is only able to push forward for a mild gain of 2 yards.
The Vanicream coach then sends in a play for BabyFoam on 3rd and 8. BabyFoam lines up split wide and runs an 8 yard down and out.
On the cut to the outside, BabyFoam turns up the sidelines on a double move.
The Vanicream QB looks the Aveeno safely to the right side and then comes back and delivers a strike to BabyFoam 25 yards down field. BabyFoam fakes inside causing the safety to lose his footing as he slips past.
BabyFoam breaks into the open and is clean to the touch for a 68 yard TOUCHDOWN! The extra point (helps water to mix with oil and dirt) is GOOD!
Aveeno Opens Game with Controversial Titanium Dioxide
After the Vanicream kickoff sails through the end zone for a touchback, the Aveeno coach surprised everyone by starting Titanium Dioxide.
Titanium Dioxide is one of the top fifty chemicals produced worldwide and bring a lot of experience to the game.
Of Titanium Dioxide many talents, providing a mild sun screen is one of the surprising features TD brings to the game.
On the first play the Aveeno QB fakes a handoff to Titanium Dioxide and drops back to pass. TD starts to block, but then slips outside and receives a short pass.
While making a cut, TD is hit hard with accusations of being a carcinogen and the blow knows the air out of TD’s chest and with the hit, the ball is rocked loose for a FUMBLE!
The Vanicream defense piles onto the ball and recovers it at the 29 yard line.
What a disaster for the Aveeno coach as Titanium Dioxide stumbles off the field with his hands in the air saying “nothing has been proven” and pleads for his coach to throw the red flag for a review. But, it’s pretty obvious that this blow was legal and will not be overturned for now.
Vanicream Sends in Sodium Stearate with a Short Field
After the fumble recovery, the Vanicream Cleansing Bar coach sends in Sodium Stearate to try and bolster the score.
Sodium Stearate comes to the Vanicream team touting one particularly strong talent. SS is tough and brings a certain hardness to the team.
On the first play after the fumble, SS lines up at WR. After the snap, the QB fakes play action, and the Vanicream coach has sent in a play to strike fast.
The QB throws the ball up high for SS to make the leaping grab. The Aveeno DB, realizing they can’t make the play, grabs SS and pulls his arm down. The referee throws the flag and it’s pass interference. First and goal on the 7 yard line.
On 1st down, lining up in the shotgun with SS lining up at RB beside the QB, the Vanicream QB takes the snap and hands off to SS. SS is hit in the backfield, but with toughness, SS bulls upfield for a 2 yard gain.
On the next play, SS lines up in a wildcat formation and tries to bull up the middle. But, the Aveeno defense has clogged up the pores of the line and the play is stuffed for no gain.
On 3rd down and goal, SS lines up at WR again and gets the 1 on 1 coverage Vanicream is looking for. The QB delivers a bullet to SS as SS fades to the flag. But, SS’s hands are too hard, and the ball bounces off for an incompletion.
On 4rth down Sodium Stearate lines up for a chip shot FG from 23 yards. The kick is up and perfect. FG GOOD!
Aveeno Bar Mixes in Cetearyl Alcohol
As the Aveeno Bar coach watches the kickoff travel to the 1 yard line where his return man makes the catch, he contemplates how to respond to this quick 10 point deficit.
Looking down the bench, the coach spots Cetearyl Alcohol and sends CA into the game to try and turn things around.
The Aveeno Bar return man wiggles in and out of traffic slipping up field for a nice return of 29 yards to the 30 yard line.
Cetearyl Alcohol, or CA to his fans, works well with others (a great emulsifier). CA also increases the thickness of his team and comes to the game foaming at the mouth to make a difference.
Running behind his fatty acid lineman, Cetearyl Alcohol puts a foaming burst together of 4 and 7 yards for a quick first down.
Lining up at WR on the next play, Cetearyl Alcohol runs a double move to try and soften up the defense. Unfortunately, the pass was too long and sails out of bounds.
On 2nd down, Cetearyl Alcohol runs an out and in pass. He catches the ball in the short middle of the field and which thick leg churn pushes forward for a 6 yard gain.
On 3rd down and 4 yards, Cetearyl Alcohol circles to the left side and receives a dump pass from the Aveeno Bar QB. The QB led Cetearyl Alcohol perfectly, and Cetearyl Alcohol is able to outrun defenders before being pushed out of bounds after 8 yards and a first down.
Can Cetearyl Alcohol Get Close Enough?
Going in motion on the next play, Cetearyl Alcohol cuts up field and runs an out. The Aveeno Bar QB pump fakes and Cetearyl Alcohol turns up field.
The Aveeno Bar QB zips a pass between the CB and safety and the safety is barely able to bump Cetearyl Alcohol hard enough to knock him out of bounds. But, not until after a huge 37 yard gain.
The Aveeno coach thinking he can rely on the fatty acid lineman again sends a foaming Cetearyl Alcohol up the middle for two straight carries.
But, the fatty acid’s have been out there too long and don’t have the stamina to make the push. Cetearyl Alcohol is stuff twice for no gain.
On third down and goal, the Aveeno Bar QB lines up in the shotgun. Cetearyl Alcohol lines up in the slot, and runs a pattern short right near the goal line.
The Vanicream DBs are ready for the Cetearyl Alcohol carrying agent and thin out the angle to get a finger tip on the pass and knock it harmlessly to the ground.
On 4th down, the Aveeno Bar coach has Cetearyl Alcohol knock the chip shot through the uprights for a 26 yard FG.
Vanicream Loads up on SLS
As the Vanicream Cleansing Bar coach watches the kickoff sail out of the end zone for a touchback, he peruses who to put in.
The coach makes eye contact with Sodium Lauroyl Sarcosinate (known to his teammates as SLS).
SLS has some great skin and cosmetic features that makes him one of those players that the coach just can’t bypass.
SLS Looks Good on Paper
- Clean (Surfactant)
- Provides Anti-static properties (hard to stick to him)
- A great team player (emulsifier of teammates)
- Generates high quality foam
- Top notch conditioner of skin
- Complete control of viscosity
But, SLS is always on the bad side of the media. They are alway accusing SLS of hanging around with bad eggs (known carcinogens) that contaminate SLS.
SLS heads out to try and keep the media distractions at bay, and to put together a quality drive for Vanicream.
On 1st down, SLS isn’t focused enough yet, and while thinking about his night out the night before with the Cancer Brothers, he jumps off sides for a 5 yard penalty.
On the next play, SLS takes the hand off and drives over left guard showing great control of his viscosity, he pours through the hole for a solid 4 yard gain.
Lining up in the slot, SLS runs a pattern just past the sticks and cuts towards the middle of the field as the Vanicream QB emulsifies with SLS for a 12 yard completion and a 1st down.
SLS then takes a swing pass from the Vanicream QB and tries to cut up field into the hole, but the defense is ready and trips SLS up for only a 2 yard gain.
SLS lines up on the next play as a WR and cuts up the sidelines as the Vanicream QB see SLS foaming at the mouth to receive the ball, the pass is floated up perfectly on the sidelines. SLS shields the ball from the defender and makes a spectacular catch for a 29 yard gain.
SLS is SOL
The Vanicream coach seeing the defense is getting tired tries to shove SLS down their throat with two carries. The first is stuffed at the line of scrimmage. The second run has SLS bounce outside as defenders can’t seem to get their hands on him (anti-static moves). SLS runs out of real estate, but not until after a 5 yard gain.
On 3rd down, the defense taunts SLS asking him if he scores while out playing the night before with the Cancer Brothers. SLS falls for the distraction, and runs the wrong pass route. The Vanicream QB tries to salvage the play with a scramble, but is tackled at the line of scrimmage for no gain.
On 4th down, SLS tries to angle a punt deep, but out of bounds, but still distracted by taunts from the defense, his aim is off. The punt goes out of the end zone for a touchback.
Aveeno Bar Looks to get a Rise out of Avena Sativa
Losing by a touchdown, the Aveeno coach is making a play to rise up and conquer Vanicream on the next drive.
Avena Sativa, or Oat Flour, has a libedo for abrasive play. He has bulked up in the weight room and can absorb hits. Avena Sativa promotes a thicker style of play.
On the first play from scrimmage, Avena Sativa lines up at RB as the Aveeno Bar QB drops back to pass. Avena Sativa bumps the rushing DE hard as he settles into the middle of the field as an escape valve.
The Aveeno Bar QB can’t find any receivers open, and dumps the ball of to Avena Sativa. Avena Sativa has to reach far to his left to catch the ball, and it allows Avena Sativa to escape the LB. Avena Sativa is blasted by an oncoming safety, but bounces off the hit and keeps his legs moving. Defensive players pile on, but Avena Sativa can’t be dragged down until after gaining 22 yards.
Avena Sativa starts at RB again and goes into motion. The Aveeno Bar QB zips a quick hit pass to Avena Sativa in stride. Avena Sativa runs over the CB, and is finally wrestled out of bounds by the LB after a 13 yard gain.
On first down at the Vanicream 45 yard line, Avena Sativa takes a hand off, and hits the hole off left tackle hard. Avena Sativa runs through the LB, and takes the safety for a ride of 16 yards before being brought down.
Avena Sativa takes the next play for a run up the middle. But, the DLs and LBs are there and ready. Avena Sativa is still able to muscle out 3 yards.
Avena Sativa is Hakuna Matata
On 2nd down, the Aveeno QB drops back to pass. Avena Sativa stays in the pocket for a second letting the Vanicream secondary drop back in pass defense.
The Aveeno QB then dumps the ball off to Avena Sativa at the 20 yard line with a full head of steam.
Avena Sativa’s stride is slow, but thick with power. Avena Sativa crushes the CB and with a bounce towards the middle of the field avoids the linebackers as they dive and miss.
Avena Sativa lowers his head and strikes hard into the middle of the chest of the safety at the five yard line.
The blow knows the safety to the ground as Avena Sativa spins off the hit and dives into the end zone for a TOUCHDOWN! The extra point (Avena Sativa also works as a powerful aphrodisiac) is GOOD!
Vanicream Raises the Bar with Sodium Cocoate
As the kickoff sail out of the end zone, the Vanicream Cleansing Bar coach ponders his next play.
Looking down the sidelines, Sodium Cocoate seems to be ready to clean up on the next drive, so the Vanicream coach sends SoCo into the game.
Sodium Cocoate is well know for playing a clean game. With surfactent qualities, SoCo does well at bringing the team together for a drive.
The coach gives SoCo a close relative, Coconut Acids, to work with on this drive.
On the first play from the 20 yard line, SoCo takes a quick snap and throws a pass to Coconut Acids who is running a slant pattern. Coconut Acids makes the catch while on the run and turns up field and dives for a 16 yard gain.
SoCo takes the next snap from the shotgun, and after letting the WRs get down field, SoCo slides cleanly between two rushing defensive lineman for a 5 yard gain.
SoCo Cleans Up with Big Gains
Keeping the defense off balance, SoCo gets right up and into the shotgun. Without a huddle, SoCo calls out the routes to the WRs. Coconut Acids lines up at right WR, and runs a fakes an out route.
Zipping up the sidelines, SoCo lofts the pass up and deep. With perfect concentration, Coconut Acids grabs the pass cleanly and taps two feet in bounds before getting blasted by the defensive safety.
Coconut Acids hangs on to the ball for a massive 37 yard gain.
Coconut Acids pops right up an this time goes in motion on the next play. At the snap, Coconut Acids runs a seam pattern between the LB and safety.
SoCo sees the play from the beginning, looks off the safety and comes back to zip the ball cleanly into the arms of Coconut Acids.
Coconut Acids dives for the end zone, but is marked down at the 1 yard line.
On the next play, SoCo starts in the shotgun, and sends 2 WRs to the right and 2 to the left. SoCo sells that the play is going to be a quick pass, and as the play clock is running out, SoCo steps up under the center, takes the snap and bull dozes into the end zone for a TOUCHDOWN! The extra point (being a great emulsifying agent) is GOOD!
Aveeno Looking To Keep Up Taps Water
The Aveeno Bar With Natural Colloidal Oatmeal’s coach didn’t like the way Vanicream drove right down the field and scored. So, he looked down his bench and soaked up his vision of Water sitting there.
Aveeno Water is one of the best players on the Aveeno team and the coach wanted to make sure his team responded strong to the Vanicream score.
Water brings a lot of strong character to the Aveeno team. Things like being a solvent. Water provides moisure. Water embodies Purity.
After the kickoff sailed out of the end zone, Water rushed onto the field to take charge of the Aveeno offense.
The start the drive, Water puddled up from the RB position and floated the ball for runs of 3 and 6 yards.
On 3rd and short, the Vanicream defense put up a strong barrier and held Water for no gain.
And Then, the Deluge
With the coach feeling like that Vanicream score was too easy, he left Water in to try and squeeze out that short yard on 4th down. Water lined up behind center at QB, and bobbed his head trying to draw the defense off balance.
Water then drifted back as if to give up drawing the defense off sides, and as soon as they relaxed, he took the snap and in a deluge, Water poured the way toward the sidelines diving head first for the first down.
On the next play, Water lined up at WR and streamed down the sidelines for a deep pass. The Aveeno QB dripped the ball into Water’s arm for a 43 yard bomb.
Water then swam to the slot on the next play and flowed into a gap in the secondary to receive an 11 yard play.
Water then took 2 rushes up the middle for gains of 5 and 2 yards to bring up 3rd down and short.
Water lined up at TE for the play and leaked through the seam in the secondary and the Aveeno QB delivered the pass with touch for a 9 yard TOUCHDOWN! The extra point (softens skin) was GOOD!
Vanicream Digs Hard with Stearic Acid
With Aveeno Bar with Oatmeal storming back after a great breakfast to tie the game, the Vanicream Cleansing Bar coach needed an answer.
The coach decided to respond with a thick and hard response by pouring Stearic Acid into the game.
Stearic Acid provides a stable response that is great at taking a team that is being mowed through because they are responding with a thin defense. Stearic Acid provides thickening, surfactant cleasing, and emulsion stablizing factors for his team.
And, that’s exactly what his coach wants to respond to the Aveeno team tying up the game. Stearic Acid starts the drive at the 20 yard line after a touchback and heads out to make an impression.
On 1st down, Stearic Acid takes a handoff and with force drives through the thin hole off tackle into the secondary. With his thick neck leading the wasy, Stearic Acid drives through the middle linebacker with an extremely hard hit and drives the LB and several other defensive players that are along for the ride, for several more yards.
The Aveeno LB take offense at how hard Stearic Acid plowed him backwards and gets up yelling and shoving Stearic Acid. The outburst by the LB costs his team another 15 yards after the referee threw his flag.
On the next four plays, starting from almost to mid-field, Stearic Acid’s number is called on consective running plays that net 6, 2, 6, and 7 yards.
With Stearic Acid on a roll, play action is a nice call on 2nd and 3, but the Aveeno defense isn’t caught napping. With no one open, the Vanicream QB finds Stearic Acid on an outlet pass for a conservative 4 yard gain and another 1st down.
After a false start sends Vanicream back 5 yards, Stearic Acid goes in motion on 1st and 15. Stearic Acid decides to test the LB on a deep route, but the defensive back by the name of PETA contests the pass and finds the testing in violation of animal flight patterns and easily swats the pass away.
On 2nd and long, Stearic Acid lines up in the slot and catches a quick screen. The defense is able to sniff out the lovely fragrant play and stops it after 5 yards.
With a 3rd down and 10 play needing to at least get better FG position, Stearic Acid lines up in the slot again, and runs a down and out and back in route. The play looks to be a big gainer, but the Vanicream QB pass is not on target and Stearic Acid has to make a diving catch. The play only goes for 4 yards.
On 4th down, Stearic Acid lines up for a 46 yard FG. The snap is good, the kick is up and GOOD!
Aveeno Responds with Their Own Stearic Acid
After watching the kickoff sail out of the endzoen, the Aveeno coach tries to think of how he can respond and get similar results.
The obvious answer was to take the twin brother of the Vanicream player that had just scored!
The Aveeno Bar With Natural Colloidal Oatmeal coach chooses Aveeno Stearic Acid to manage the next drive.
The Aveeno Stearic Acid being the twin brother of the Vanicream Stearic Acid has the same traits. Some of his talents are:
- A cleansing agent
- An Emulsifor
- Provider of fragrance
- Masks other ingredients
- Is a filler for the team providing some fatty interiors
Aveeno Stearic Acid obtained the nickname StearBear as a play on his cleaning abilities.
StearBear uses his filling abilities to fill the running lanes early in the drive. But, with time running out in the half, Aveeno had to go to the air.
StearBear began lowering the surface tension of the sidelines using his surfactant talents. He cleaned up with big plays of 23, 21, and 11 yards.
But, time was not the friend of StearBear. Even though StearBear was making progress, the clock wound down to 1 second and the Aveeno coach was forced to decide whether to go for it from the 3 yard line, or take the more guaranteed points.
StearBear kicked a 21 yard FG to end the half as the Aveeno coach wanted to take the momentum into halftime.
This game has been a slugfest with each side delivering solid hits. The Vanicream Cleansing Bar team has been first to the punch always taking the lead in the game. However, Aveeno Bar with Oatmeal keeps on recovering and tying the game back up.
From a player standpoint, Vanicream still has a deep bench of quality players that are completely rested for the second half. So, Aveeno fans have to be a little concerned that they haven’t obtained a lead yet to allow their players to catch a breath.
On the positive front, of the remaining players left on the Aveeno bench, almost all of them have provided quality input to the team in the past. Also, Aveeno starts the second half on offense, so this will be their first real chance to grab a lead in the game.
Vanicream To Kick Off for Second Half
The Aveeno coach is looking down his bench deciding whether to save some of the best players for late in the game, or to go for a lead and make Vanicream play a little from behind.
Aveeno Bar Tries To Shake Things Up With Glycerin
After playing on the road to a tie score at halftime, the Aveeno Bar With Natural Colloidal Oatmeal coach looks to turn the late 2nd quarter FG momentum into an early 3rd quarter lead.
Coach and his assistents decided during halftime to go with Glycerin to make that happen.
Glycerin being one of the more talented players on this team brings a strong set of abilities to the table:
- Skin Conditioner
- Skin Protectant
- Viscosity Reducer
- Hygroscopic capabilities
On the down side, Glycerin has been in the blogs lately as being identified as being derived from animal fat.
After the 2nd half kickoff sails out of the end zone for a touchback, Glycerin slides onto the field.
On the first play, Glycerin takes a pass and tries to use his ability to strongly attract water. But, the defense knowing Glycerin’s hygroscopic talents has inserted some waterbound defenders and they are sucked onto Glycerin hard for a 1 yard loss.
Still shaking off the previous play, Glycerin takes a handoff and is crushed by liquid seeking defensive missles for a 2 yard loss.
This brings up 3rd down and long. Glycerin calls for a max protect blocking package to seal all rushing holes. The play takes some time to develop, and the seals can’t hold as Glycerin has to dump the pass off in the flat to the Aveeno Bar RB for a 7 yard gain.
On 4th down Glycerin drops back and punts a high kick for 46 yards. A block in the back penalty drives Vanicream back another 10 yards where they start their drive at their own 35 yard line.
|Aveeno Bar With Natural Colloidal Oatmeal||1st Quarter 15:00||Vanicream Cleansing Bar|
|Vanicream wins the coin toss and will receive.|
|15:00 Aveeno kicks off.|
|12:49 Vanicream's BabyFoam (Sodium Cocoyl Isethionate) catches a 68 yard pass for a TOUCHDOWN! The extra point is GOOD.|
|11:44 Vanicream's Sodium Stearate kicks a 23 yard FG.|
|7:41 Aveeno Bar's Cetearyl Alcohol kicks a 26 yard FG.|
|0:01 Aveeno Bar's Avena Sativa catches a 26 yard pass for a TOUCHDOWN! The extra point is GOOD!|
|12:52 Vanicream's Sodium Cocoate for a 1 yard run for a TOUCHDOWN! The extra point is GOOD!|
|7:44 Aveeno Bar's Water catches a 9 yard pass for a TOUCHDOWN! The extra point is GOOD!! The extra point is GOOD!|
|2:00 Vanicream's Stearic Acid kicks a 46 yard FG!|
|0:01 Aveeno Bar's Stearic Acid kicks a 21 yard FG.|